The ER is le scary.

I'm sure you're all wondering where I've been. Just kidding, I'm sure you don't care.

Well, I'm telling you anyway.

So, as you may know, I've been sick constantly over the last two months. It's one thing after another. I can't seem to win. Well, a week and a half ago I got a weird bump on my finger. The next day it grew to several painful bumps. I went to the doctor. He said it was a bite and it would go away. Yeah, it didn't... it got effing huge. It became about the size of a quarter and covers the middle of my middle finger on my left hand, making it hard to bend that finger... causing me to accidentally (well, in most cases anyway) flip people off. Oh fun. It's incredibly painful.

Soooo... I went to the doctor again. He was like, "Oh yuck." I was like, "Um, yeah." It had lots of puss filled blisters and it was all red and purple and gross and bleh. I have to wear a glove on my hand at work because band-aids are against health code. I get lots of weird looks from people and my new nick name is Michael Jackson. Yay.

Yeahhhh so I started taking some meds for it and putting this cream stuff on it and it started getting better.

However... yesterday my elbows itched. I asked Mark if he could see anything on my elbows (because, I can't see them unless I have a mirror. Sadly, I can't lick them either). He said yes. I was like, "wtf". After he went home, I showed my mom. We started looking up what it could possibly be. Somewhere I read that it was only bad if it was also showing up on my hands and feet. I was like, "Psh. Well, then I'm fine." I looked at my hands. I was not fine. They are covered in red, painful bumps. My feet, too. My mom freaked out and decided she was going to take me to the Emergency Room. Then I panicked. I've never been.

By the way, it was about midnight by this time. I was dead tired and already upset about the huge disgusting thing on my finger. Soooo we drove two towns over to Mountain View Hospital. The reception lady asked me dumb questions and then some guy assessed me. He rubbed some device on my forehead and it took my temperature. I was mildly amused at this, but I was still freaked out.

Then he took me back to the ER and had me sit on a bed. I had my own curtain room thing. It was special. The doctor that saw to me had an earring. He was awesome. I was still panicky, though. Across the way I saw a little boy and his mom. He was crying, and she was trying to get him to take some medicine. I felt bad for the little boy. A nurse brought him a Popsicle. I was immediately jealous. I wanted one.

The doctor looked me over, poked the bumps, asked me questions, and then went to look it up. My mom and I sat for a bit, wondering what it was. I was freaking out. I wanted to tell Mark that I was at the hospital, but I didn't want to worry him. He was already in bed, and he really needed the rest. My mom told me not to tell him. It upset me.

The doctor came back and listed off a few things that it could be. Then a nurse came and took a blood sample. I almost lost it when she shoved the needle in my arm. I've only had one other instance where this has occurred and it was years ago. I almost started crying. She left a little plastic thingy sticking out of my arm in case the would need to give me an IV.

We had to wait an hour for the results. They took me and my mom to a private room with a TV. The nurse gave me a warmed blanket and a pillow and handed me a remote. Well, let me tell you, there is nothing on at one thirty in the morning. It sucked. I was already panicking about the thing in my arm and the possibility of a bad infection.

An hour later they came back and said everything was fine and that the rash should go away in a week or two. They also said that I should stop taking the meds for my finger, because it was part of what was causing the rash. I was relieved. They took thing stupid thing out of my arm and sent us home. I got home at three in the morning. I was tired, upset, and anxious. My hands, feet, and elbows hurt. I wanted to call Mark. I wanted it all to be better.

I ended up taking something to help me sleep and was out until eleven this morning.

My rash is worse.

I am worried.


So yeah, that's my story. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to see what the hell is up. I can't tell you how freaking annoyed I am at being sick. Not to mention all the shiz that's been happening in my life. I'm sick of college, I'm sick of people being jerks to me, and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mark freaked out when I told him about the hospital visit. He panicked, actually. I had to convince him I was okay. I love him lots, and I'm glad he's concerned about me, but I hate for him to be so stressed. I feel guilty about being sick, even though I can't do anything about it. This sucks majorly.

BTW, I'm getting married March 20th. Yes. I know for a fact that everything is going to work out for me and Mark. I'm so excited for my life.


That's my rant for the week. I hope you all enjoyed it.

Adventure time.

Yes, that's right! Adventure time for me! Oh, but where am I going? Whyyyy am I going? Howwww am I getting there?

I'm going to... *drumroll...* IDAHO. One of the most boring states EVER! And I'm EXCITED to go! Know why? Because I'm depressed and need to escape from school and work and stress and IDIOTS. Heck yes! Thaaaat's right. I'm going to Idaho for two days with Mark and his family. Holy crap. This couldn't have come at a better time. Anywhere besides Utah is alright with me for SERIOUS. It's only a few miles over the border, but still! Idaho! Not Utah. Nobody can force me to go to work! Nobody can nag me about shifts! Nobody can push me about homework! Nobody can drive like an a**hole around me because I'll be on my own adventure! Me not driving! Me not caring! Me spending the weekend with Mark!!!!!!

I love Mark.

I didn't get to see him all day today.

I don't know why I'm so depressed lately. There are things that have added to it... like Alexis' brother dying. That upset me a lot. Ugh. Poor Lexo. I wish I was in Texas so that I could give her a big hug.

*le sigh*

Make Me Smile

Brittany asked me why I don't update my blog. I have no answer. Yes I do. I'm lazy. Ha ha.

Okay. An update. <3 Sooooo I went to Vegas with Jade, Kimi, and my mom. It was AWESOME. We saw Cirque du Soleil! The Beatles! LOVE! Omgee it was fantastic! I want to see it again! Oh snap. Uh... hmm. What else has been happening. Well, my aunt Tracy has breast cancer. I don't know how to feel about it. I guess I still don't believe that she does. I haven't seen her since my brother got married over two years ago. I don't know what it's like over in Texas. This whole ordeal has been making my mom act odd. She's upset all the time, and I don't blame her. But... I just can't put up with that. It's making her act odd. She keeps being critical of me and then having issues with her friends and all this junk. It's driving me up a wall. She's basically my problem right now. I love my mom to bits, I really do. That's why I can't really complain. I understand where she's coming from and what's going on. I just can't deal with it. I have a lot going on and a lot of things are changing in my life. So, in order to not freak out at my mom, I spend a lot of time away from home. Thursday I started school at UVU. I was so nervous. I was right to be. I went to school at eight. Walking through the halls was scary! There are so many people there. Augh. I felt so self conscious. I wanted to run away. At least I had Brittany to text. She kept me sane. I found my class and went in and sat down. Once class got started I was alright. It's a familiar element to me, especially when the teacher/professor/instructor/whatever makes everybody laugh. I loved that. Sadly, once I left class, I was back in to awkwardness. I ran to my next class and sat down, hoping my next teacher/professor/instructor/whatever would be nice and funny as well. Yup, he was. I was alright once again. Then, class ended and I had an hour to kill. I also had no food, and was too self conscious to buy anything. I ended up going outside and calling Mark 'cause I was a little freaked out. We talked the entire time. I missed him a ton. Blah. After that I had a math class. Scary scary class. My teacher person is a little scary. After that class, I had a head ache. It was probably from being hungry. I then had to trek across three parking lots and two roads to the Education Building. That class was awesome. My teacher is awesome. This lady that sat by me is awesome. It's all just awesome. When it was time to leave, I was so excited. I literally ran to my car. I called Mark and told him I was going to go to his house. He was delighted. I then went to Subway, scarfed down a sandwich, guzzled a Dr. Pepper, and rushed to Mark's house. When I got there, we went down to his basement and I collapsed on one of the couches. We watched two Indiana Jones movies. It was pretty sweet. I was gone that entire day. I didn't want to go home, but my parents were like, "Where are you? Blah blah blah. Haven't seen you all day." I had to go home eventually. Sad day. My first day of school was scary. Just sayin'. Moving on; the next day I ended up picking up Mark from UVU 'cause he got out at three but wouldn't be home until five thirty 'cause of the bus. I couldn't wait that long. I was sick of being at home again. I accidentally drove all the way to Orem without my license Oops. I had Mark drive my car home. Ha ha. We went over to his house and I did homework while we watched 'A Hard Day's Night' and ate Wendys. That was a good day.

Okay; random tangent. Mark and I are going to get married. We're planning on Fall 2010... but even then it seems too far away. It's hard to wait! I'm sorry, but things are continually progressing. How long do you expect us to wait, people. Oh mai gosh. My mom wants me to go away for a while first. How on earth am I supposed to do that!? That costs way too much money, and I have to stay here to keep my scholarship. Bleh. This sucks.

I can't describe how much I love Mark. Like, when I"m not with him, I'm so sad times. It's a weird feeling. Like, right now I miss him so much. He's at church! I'm like, dying. Not really. The feeling keeps getting bigger and bigger. A lot of my friends don't really understand that, and I can't explain it.

I can't rant anymore. It's already taken me two days to get to this point. Plus, last night I went to Roxanna's house and ranted to her. She's a good listener. <3

There's always something.

Okay, let me jsut say this. MY LIFE IS GREAT! I can't believe how well things are working out! It makes me so happy! I've got so much to look forward to. It's fantastic. :)

HOWEVER.

It seems there's always something wrong. Some aspect of my life has to be lame, no matter what. Right now that aspect would be... *drumroll*

WORK.

Thank you, thank you. *bows* I was promoted to manager a few months ago. I was so excited. More money, more respect, and more hours. So great, right? WRONG. One of the other managers had an aneurysm because of it. She started talking bad about me behind my back, complaining, and being a snob. She acted nice to me to my face, but that's it. Yeah, I hate hate hate this right now.

Tuesday was the last straw. She refused to work because I was going to be there. That pissed me off. So last night Nathan pushed me to confront her. I did. It was BAD. She shot me down, told me I was stupid and breaking the rules of management, stealing her hours, and driving people away.

What

the

hell.

It went on and on and I kept trying to defend myself but to no avail. She kept that smug, stern face of hers on and it BOTHERED ME. More than anything I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her! "Snap out of it!" GAHH!!!

I kept my cool and watched her leave. Once she was gone, I lost it. Nathan came in the dining room and comforted me. "You probably hate me for making you do that," he said. "I don't hate you," I said. "I just hate that I'm CRYING."

I then shaped up and put on my angry face. Anything to keep from crying. I closed up and left in a huff. I then sat in my car and cried my eyes out. I felt horrible. The girl had named names of people that hated me behind my back. That's half the staff. UGH.

I went home after I stopped crying. I then went to my mom's friend's house 'cause that's where she was and I told her what happened. Then I went home and asked Mark to come over. He stayed until one in the morning. It was nice. I felt better then... but I still feel horrible horrible. It's been a craptastic week involving work. I haven't gotten much sleep. Last night I took a sleeping pill and now I'm hung over. Yuck.

Monday night had some issues too. I don't want to go in to detail but I pretty much almost cried all night that time too. I hate crying.

Oh well. Life is still good. :)

Update on my everything.

So this week I'm graduating. I mean, technically I did graduate... but Friday is the FINAL DAY EVER OF HIGH SCHOOL-RELATED THINGS. Holy freaking crap and a half, kids. Holy crap.

It's like, "I'm so happy!" you know? No more school! And then... "I'm so... sad." Some of my friends are moving away. :( I dunno. When something like that ends it's an odd feeling. Such change is occurring.


My grandparents are in town. Hrm.

My grandma brought two boxes of records. TWO FULL BOXES of VINYL RECORDS. She said I could look through them and pick any I wanted! SO I looked through and found Simon and Garfunkle, Elvis, Tom Jones, Frank Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, The Beach Boys, and freaking MORE amazing records! I was like, HOLY CRAP! So happy!!!!

And then...

My mom walks in the room. "THOSE ARE THE RECORDS FROM MY CHILDHOOD!" *grabs them all* "You can't have them! They're mine!" And she was dead freaking serious. I tried to argue a little but she used the "that's not fair, Rebecca." trick. So I gave up and walked out of the room.

I feel upset and angry about it. My mom doesn't even have a record player, k. She'll never listen to them. She'll only HAVE them. Fiend. Now I want to run away to Salt Lake City to Randy's Records (coolest store ever) and blow all my money on vinyl. I am so mad.

GUH.


Heads up; I'm leaving the 26th and won't be back until June 1st. DISNEYLAND, HOLLYWOOD, UNIVERSAL STUDIOS, AND THE BEACH! WOOOOOOO!!!

Things with Mark are going well. :) He's a sweetheart.

Kaleb is a git.

That is all. :)

Mmm. Life.

I haven't updated since I posted about Mark. How silly.

Let me recap.

So my birthday occurred. I got an iPod touch from my parents. Two days later it stopped working. WHAT. So we sent it back and they replaced it. *grumbles to self*

ON my birthday, Megan, Kimi, and I went prom dress shopping in Provo. It was fun! It was snowing like madness but it was still great times. I enjoyed hanging with those two. Awh. Good times. :D

Prom rocked. Yes, I got asked. I thought I wouldn't. Haha. Yes. I had a great time with Jake. I pretty much didn't wear my shoes at all. Haha. Waste of money. Oh well. We went to the Planetarium and took epic pictures. Then we ate at... how do I spell it... Benihana. It was EPIC. I... made a horrible racist joke. Oops. The cook provoked me! How was I to resist? Haha. It was great. The dance was way fun, too. I think I looked smashing. Megan looked great too, as did Morgan. All was well.

So I've been seeing Mark A LOT in the past few weeks. At first it was the 'I'm not so sure about this person' approach. One night he and I talked for hours upon hours about life and stuff. It was great. He started telling me how amazing I was and that every time he saw me he thought I looked wonderful. *glee* Finally one night while watching 'Drop Dead Fred' at Nathan's, he held my hand. I was le happy. We talked more and more and got to know one another more and more. I started to really really really get attached to him. I started to want to see him. The last time that happened was with Kaleb (the git).

Sometimes when I get this close to a guy... I sort of fall back and take a look at the picture before me. I get a strange guilt inside of me because of my friends. I'm not saying it's their fault. I just hate when I'm happy and they're not. :( In the past (very distant past) old friends would shun me when I was happy. You know? If I had a guy, they would abandon me. Not a good situation to be in. So... I'm feeling concerned about this. It's so hard not to! I feel so bad, especially for one friend who recently was dumped. I feel sad for her always. When those things happen I wish there was something I could do to fix it.

So, I'm hesitant. Still, I enjoy being with Mark. Every opportunity I got I spent time with him. I still do. Today even. We ran errands together. Good times. :)

I met his family on Monday. They are AMAZING. Haha. His parents are hilarious, and so are his siblings! One of his sisters ignored me but what evs. She was busy with her boyfriend who looks like a jock and a half. He barely said anything the whole night. Hrm.

I started feeling more for Mark than I had ever felt for anybody. Strange feeling...

Last night on my way home from Megan's... I decided to stop at Maceys. It was almost time for Mark to get off of work. I waited patently outside until just before eleven. Then I went inside the store and sought him out. The look on his face when he saw me was of delight. It made me smile. He greeted me with "My night just got one hundred percent better! How are you?". When he punched out we went and talked in his car in the parking lot. He kept seeming like he wanted to say something... something important. I could tell. But, he didn't say it.

Finally I needed to get home. I have a curfew still. Hrm. He was heading to Nathan's, which is on the way to my house. I followed him on Hwy 6 for a ways before making a decision. I pulled up next to him when he parked and got out. He was surprised I'd followed. "Aren't you going to get in trouble?" he asked me. I told him I didn't care and that I had a question for him. "What would you say if I told you I loved you?" I asked. He smiled, slightly surprised, and pulled me close. "I'd have to say that I love you too," he said. "More than anything."

And that, my children, made my heart soar. He told me he'd been wanting to tell me for days, but he was afraid of my reaction. He is a timid guy sometimes, which I'm totally fine with. I couldnt' help but smile. Then... Nathan came outside. He automatically assumed we'd made out. Stupid Nathan.

He's the one that hooked up me and Mark. His fault! Haha. Nathan is amazing. XD Mark and I are official now. :) Life is good.

I must say... my life is falling in to place. I'm graduating in two weeks, I've got a scholarship at UVU, all my classes are signed up, I'm going on the senior trip, Alexis is coming, I'm going on trek, I've got Mark, I have a car finally, I'm making more money finally, and just... YAY! I could sing!!!!

The only thing being stupid right now is Kaleb. He keeps calling me! Git. GIT. Then his ex (or not ex... I have no idea) girlfriend started asking me why I won't talk to Kaleb. I told her to leave me alone. Guh. Stupid. I seriously dislike this girl, people. I always have.

So, that's my two cents for the hour. I need to get to bed. :)

Something new!

I have some awesome news to post about. Something that is bringing me joy.

Haha I typed this all out to Brittany on MSN. I'm gonna post it here.


This guy named Nathan (who is a cook at my work) and I were talking yesterday morning while we were both working. I told him how I haven't been doing much since I don't go to school and stuff. He asked if I've been dating. I said no. He said, "If I set you up on a date, would you go?" I said, "Depends." He said, "Okay, this guy named Mark is a returned missionary who's taller than you and is really funny." I said, "Splendid. Let's do it."

So!

I didn't want to go on a date date with him yet. I wanted to meet him. Nathan, Jamie (another cook. she's awesome), Mark, me, and this kid named Marshall went to Nathan's grandma's house to play ImagineIff. It was so much fun. Mark IS hilarious and he's cute, too. Anyway, Nathan put Ringo on the board for random reasons. Then when we were gonna use him for one of the cards, Marshall was like, "I don't know anything about the Beatles! How can I pick the best one about him? Who is this guy?" And then awesome Mark turned to him and said, "Dude! Haven't you ever seen their movies or heard their music? What's wrong with you?!"

It was like an explosion in my brain. I was like, "DUDE. This guy! He likes the Beatles! This just keeps getting better and better!"

He's taking me on a real date on Thursday. YAY!