Make Me Smile

Brittany asked me why I don't update my blog. I have no answer. Yes I do. I'm lazy. Ha ha.

Okay. An update. <3 Sooooo I went to Vegas with Jade, Kimi, and my mom. It was AWESOME. We saw Cirque du Soleil! The Beatles! LOVE! Omgee it was fantastic! I want to see it again! Oh snap. Uh... hmm. What else has been happening. Well, my aunt Tracy has breast cancer. I don't know how to feel about it. I guess I still don't believe that she does. I haven't seen her since my brother got married over two years ago. I don't know what it's like over in Texas. This whole ordeal has been making my mom act odd. She's upset all the time, and I don't blame her. But... I just can't put up with that. It's making her act odd. She keeps being critical of me and then having issues with her friends and all this junk. It's driving me up a wall. She's basically my problem right now. I love my mom to bits, I really do. That's why I can't really complain. I understand where she's coming from and what's going on. I just can't deal with it. I have a lot going on and a lot of things are changing in my life. So, in order to not freak out at my mom, I spend a lot of time away from home. Thursday I started school at UVU. I was so nervous. I was right to be. I went to school at eight. Walking through the halls was scary! There are so many people there. Augh. I felt so self conscious. I wanted to run away. At least I had Brittany to text. She kept me sane. I found my class and went in and sat down. Once class got started I was alright. It's a familiar element to me, especially when the teacher/professor/instructor/whatever makes everybody laugh. I loved that. Sadly, once I left class, I was back in to awkwardness. I ran to my next class and sat down, hoping my next teacher/professor/instructor/whatever would be nice and funny as well. Yup, he was. I was alright once again. Then, class ended and I had an hour to kill. I also had no food, and was too self conscious to buy anything. I ended up going outside and calling Mark 'cause I was a little freaked out. We talked the entire time. I missed him a ton. Blah. After that I had a math class. Scary scary class. My teacher person is a little scary. After that class, I had a head ache. It was probably from being hungry. I then had to trek across three parking lots and two roads to the Education Building. That class was awesome. My teacher is awesome. This lady that sat by me is awesome. It's all just awesome. When it was time to leave, I was so excited. I literally ran to my car. I called Mark and told him I was going to go to his house. He was delighted. I then went to Subway, scarfed down a sandwich, guzzled a Dr. Pepper, and rushed to Mark's house. When I got there, we went down to his basement and I collapsed on one of the couches. We watched two Indiana Jones movies. It was pretty sweet. I was gone that entire day. I didn't want to go home, but my parents were like, "Where are you? Blah blah blah. Haven't seen you all day." I had to go home eventually. Sad day. My first day of school was scary. Just sayin'. Moving on; the next day I ended up picking up Mark from UVU 'cause he got out at three but wouldn't be home until five thirty 'cause of the bus. I couldn't wait that long. I was sick of being at home again. I accidentally drove all the way to Orem without my license Oops. I had Mark drive my car home. Ha ha. We went over to his house and I did homework while we watched 'A Hard Day's Night' and ate Wendys. That was a good day.

Okay; random tangent. Mark and I are going to get married. We're planning on Fall 2010... but even then it seems too far away. It's hard to wait! I'm sorry, but things are continually progressing. How long do you expect us to wait, people. Oh mai gosh. My mom wants me to go away for a while first. How on earth am I supposed to do that!? That costs way too much money, and I have to stay here to keep my scholarship. Bleh. This sucks.

I can't describe how much I love Mark. Like, when I"m not with him, I'm so sad times. It's a weird feeling. Like, right now I miss him so much. He's at church! I'm like, dying. Not really. The feeling keeps getting bigger and bigger. A lot of my friends don't really understand that, and I can't explain it.

I can't rant anymore. It's already taken me two days to get to this point. Plus, last night I went to Roxanna's house and ranted to her. She's a good listener. <3