Contemplation... death is hard.

I've been thinking a lot these past few days. I know Michael Jackson died a few days ago and that just sort of triggered a lot of brain activity within me. I ad to dust off the cobwebs in my head first. The gears are a bit rusty.

Smitkins tribute made me think a lot too. [link]

His death reminded me, and probably the whole world, that we are all delicate beings that could die any time. His passing was so sudden, it's shocking. I couldn't help but remember the film reels I watched on YouTube in relation to John Lennon's death. Every time someone that famous and influential dies the whole world feels a shock wave.

Whether you liked Michael Jackson or not, you can't help but remember that he was human too. He was preparing a comeback. He was working harder and harder to right his life. He, like most of us, was doing his best in this world... and then he was gone.

Michael Jackson changed the world, as did John Lennon, Buddy Holly, Elvis, and Jimmi Hendrix. They all died too young, but at least we can appreciate what they left behind. They spent their lives etching a new path in this world. We can't forget that. Ever.

I like all of those musicians songs. Not as much as others, but still. I then thought... what if Billy Joel Armstrong died? Or Enya? Or Paul McCartney? I would be extremely upset.

Death is a harsh reality.

So, for all those Michael Jackson fans out there, I am sorry. He did a great thing. He will be missed. At least we can be comforted to know that he's in a better place. :) <3

I love the world. ^_^

There's always something.

Okay, let me jsut say this. MY LIFE IS GREAT! I can't believe how well things are working out! It makes me so happy! I've got so much to look forward to. It's fantastic. :)

HOWEVER.

It seems there's always something wrong. Some aspect of my life has to be lame, no matter what. Right now that aspect would be... *drumroll*

WORK.

Thank you, thank you. *bows* I was promoted to manager a few months ago. I was so excited. More money, more respect, and more hours. So great, right? WRONG. One of the other managers had an aneurysm because of it. She started talking bad about me behind my back, complaining, and being a snob. She acted nice to me to my face, but that's it. Yeah, I hate hate hate this right now.

Tuesday was the last straw. She refused to work because I was going to be there. That pissed me off. So last night Nathan pushed me to confront her. I did. It was BAD. She shot me down, told me I was stupid and breaking the rules of management, stealing her hours, and driving people away.

What

the

hell.

It went on and on and I kept trying to defend myself but to no avail. She kept that smug, stern face of hers on and it BOTHERED ME. More than anything I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her! "Snap out of it!" GAHH!!!

I kept my cool and watched her leave. Once she was gone, I lost it. Nathan came in the dining room and comforted me. "You probably hate me for making you do that," he said. "I don't hate you," I said. "I just hate that I'm CRYING."

I then shaped up and put on my angry face. Anything to keep from crying. I closed up and left in a huff. I then sat in my car and cried my eyes out. I felt horrible. The girl had named names of people that hated me behind my back. That's half the staff. UGH.

I went home after I stopped crying. I then went to my mom's friend's house 'cause that's where she was and I told her what happened. Then I went home and asked Mark to come over. He stayed until one in the morning. It was nice. I felt better then... but I still feel horrible horrible. It's been a craptastic week involving work. I haven't gotten much sleep. Last night I took a sleeping pill and now I'm hung over. Yuck.

Monday night had some issues too. I don't want to go in to detail but I pretty much almost cried all night that time too. I hate crying.

Oh well. Life is still good. :)