"Do you like going to church?"

Last night I went to work. Before I did, I put on my CTR ring and my YW medallion. I hardly ever wear them. It had ben months since I'd put either of them on. Yet, that night I felt like I needed them. When I got to work, there was a new girl. My boss put me in charge of training her. I did as I was told.

The girl's name... well, we'll just call her Ellen. I don't want to name names, hokay? Hokay. So Ellen was a wise crack the whole time I was showing her around. It was funny. What ever. Turns out my co-worker (we will call her Jen) already knew Ellen. Then I realized that I knew her too, but from forever ago. Good times.

My boss went home, putting me in charge of closing up. When there was but an hour left before closing time, Ellen, Jen and I decided to sit down and chat a bit for the heck of it. Ellen started asking about mine and Jen's faith in the church. See, Ellen is a member... but she is super inactive. She goes to clubs, she drinks, she swears, all that jazz.

I gave solid answers. I know the church is true, I enjoy going to church, I go for myself. I can't think of a better place to be on a Sunday. Ever. Jen decided to give shaky answers. I gave her a look of dismay as she described her want to try wine and possibly get a tattoo. Jen is more of a good girl than I am. I think her problem is the fact that she was nazi Mormon parents. Rebellion is common. Still, I wanted to be out of that situation as fast as possible. It was dangerous for Jen. Her faith was being questioned at a bad time. Jen's been having a rough time lately... so yeah.

Ellen switched gears to homosexuality. The topic didn't surprise me since we have someone like that that works with us. Ellen asked me about my views on it a bit. I told her. I don't like it, I don't praise it, and I think it's wrong all together. However, I do not shun those who are that way. Hate the sin, love the sinner. I did move on to say that I thoght it was gross and blah blah blah. I called it a disease. Then, Ellen tried to get me to guess something. I had no idea what she was talking about. And then... Ellen revealed her true self. She thinks she's bisexual. Notice I use the word 'thinks'.

I felt like someone threw a ton of rocks at me at that point. I looked at Jen. She said, "I knew that! I just didn't want to say anything." I looked at Ellen. She said, "I just wanted to see your reaction and to see if you could guess." And then she laughed. I felt extremely dirty for some reason. I wanted to leave. I felt ashamed for saying such rude things, yet I felt good that I'd meant what I'd said.

Feeling desperate, I checked the time. It was two minutes until closing. "Time to unplug the sign!" I said, jumping up. "Jen, go teach Ellen how to close." When they were out of earshot and view, I leaned against the counter and put my face in my hands. My face was hot with shame and upsetness. I felt horrible inside. I felt like I'd been unfairly cornered. I hated it.

The rest of the night passed without awkwardness. I let them close in the back while I closed up the front, making sure the lights were off and such. Jen gave me a ride home. She immediately said that her faith in the church was shaky and unstable. She said she was unsure and that she envied my testimony. I didn't have much of a reply. I didn't know what to say. I felt like crying.

And I did cry, once I got home. I hugged my dad and told him and my mom about what had happened. They offered their usual advice. "Ask questions back. Corner her. Tell your boss if it gets out of hand." etc. Then, my mom told me that it was all going to be okay. Sometimes I don't believe it when she says that. But this time I felt it was. And it is. I'm glad I chose the right. It seems odd, but I feel like something told me to put on my CTR ring that night.

God has a plan for us. He knows when we are lost and confused. He knows when we are sad about our friends. He knows when we need him, and he is there for us. He loves us. He loves me. He gives us trials so that we may become stronger. He gives us diviersity so that we may find our way. Some of us start off on the wrong path, whether it's our doing or not. Some of us find our way through friends and family. He gives us hope. He gave us this earth. He is our Heavenly Father, whether we all know it or not.

I am a child of God.